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My Story

ladywink: 05/15/2007 12:41 PM
Im sitting right now at this very moment at my desk at work taking peeks at this forum and it got me thinking, I started to really think about why I care and respect this band and their music so much. And I made the realization that the sheer reason is because they sure have given me really great music to focus on throught the tough times. 2006 was one of the worst years of my life, I hated everything around me and fell into a very deep depression that followed me like my fuckin shadow.There was a mini war between my Mother and My Aunt. You see we were kicked out of our house and had to move into my Grandmother's house which already housed my Aunt and her 2 kids. It's a big house, mind you, we were to have the 2nd story while my Aunt remained on the bottom half.When My Aunt started to bring up past issues I wasent ready to deal with and she had no right to bring up I exploded. I was a Bitch and I had no regards for anything or anyone around me. Now I diden't go around vandalizing parks or beating up on people physically. But if you crossed me or said something I dident like, I'd let it rip. Every other word was "Fuck You!" "Asshole, motherfuckin pansy" etc. I was mean and it dident matter. My family avoided me and I secluded myself from them crying in a closet. I had no hope, at all. I was done, school seemed like an immpossible dream, life was a whip in the face and I was done. I dident want to do anything, I wanted to just lie in my own thoughts, be alone, and rot into the air. It wasent fun. By October I was really bad. I stopped caring about anything and woke up and wasted my life with T.V. and food. On October 26th, my 17th B-day I walked around the house dazed. Im turning 17, big fuckin deal, what is god gonna hit me with this year? I thought. Later on that nite my sis came with a small ice cream cake and handed me a present. It took me by complete surprise. Why had she given me this stuff, I did not know. I opened the small package and found a CD. It was My Chemical Romance "Welcome To The Black Parade". I had first seen My Chem back in mid 2004. I turned on the T.V. to see Gerard with his then, long black hair screaming into the mic in the Im Not Okay vid. I had heard their songs and was very curious about them. In the next 2yrs I would listen to KROQ just to hear them. In 2006 my Anthem was still "Im Not Okay". I did not know that they had come out with a new album. So that night I put the WTTBP CD in my CD player and I literally havent stopped listening since. I went off to buy the previous 2 CD's and I listen to them constantly. Especially when things are gettin hard, Im angry, sad,etc. I ve since moved on to better things and Im not the monster I once was. Ive got a job,go to school full time,have the independence that I have always wanted and I did not let my Aunt's ignorance shape my beliefs.I look to My Chem's music as a crutch. When I got my wisdom teeth pulled, who was I listening to as my face was being tugged everywhich way? Who was I listening to when I was sweatin up a storm in the Gym? Who do I ,listen to when Ive lost my patience? I always turn the music on cause it holds a signifacent meaning to me. Did they save me? Perhaps. All I know is that they, whether they know it or not, mean alot to me and helped me and continue to help teens, adults, etc. And for that I am grateful cause Honestly I dont know what would have happened to me if I dident focus on their music, when I did.
I know this was long but I had to let people know why they mean alot to me and Im curious to know how they have helped you, or why we are like geeks here constantly wanting more....feel free to post your stories here.
Thanx for listening!

Posted on 05/15/2007 2:06 PM Visits: 15
voluptuosity: 05/17/2007 12:20 PM
Loved it! Love you. I am so happy you're better than you were and I can relate to this in so many ways times ten. Stay strong, stay sweet and stay beautiful. :) *hug*
jarns: 05/18/2007 9:23 PM
I came over here to leave a note, and ended up reading your journal instead! It's so wonderful -- my situation is different from yours, but 2006 was a shit year for me too, and sometimes, my daily dose of TBP was the only good thing going on. You're exactly right when you say they give us something to focus on, to help us get through our bad times -- and not just the music but by their example too. There were times when I just wanted to give up -- not necessarily die, but just hide away forever, y'know? And I'd always think about the hard times they'd been through, and how strong they were to get through it and achieve their dreams and make this fantastic music, and it would give me strength to keep slogging forward. MCR is beyond awesome.
...Wow! Long comment -- your journal really inspired me! :)
clara001: 08/28/2007 4:48 PM
woow what a fantastic journal honey. I kinda stumbled over your page by accident but im so glad that I did. Your journal has really inspired me and made me reminse about my discovery of MCR. You sound like such an amazing person and have done remarkably well to turn your life around like that. I discovered MCR at around the same time as yourself and again, I had heard INO before but never really followed them back then. I bought a CD player for my new car and decided to buy a new CD to play in it. Well, I bought WTTBP and from that moment on, they have been my rock and have made me look at life in a different way. My Gran died in March this year after a long illness and I would drive home from the hospital every night listening to WTTBP. I drew stength from the lyrics and associated so much with the bank, I still do. The strength and self belief which MCR gives me has really made me a better person and I now know that I can achieve things whereas before, I woukld crumble before i even attempted anything. I have managed to progress well in my career and before interviews, I will sit in the car and listen to their songs. They really have changed my life and I will be eternally gratefull to them for this. Thanks so much again for writing this journal honey, it was so inspiring. Oh, i've added you as a friend as well, hope thats ok? Lots of luv n hugs Claire xxxxx
clara001: 08/28/2007 4:49 PM
oops meant associate with the band...not the bank, well i would like to associate with the bank hehehhe lol xxxx
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